Photo by Yelenys Calabrese
There are moments in life when things do not go as we planned. It could be that we experience a death in the family, or that the things that we want the most start falling apart right in front of our eyes. In moments like that is when we start losing fate and also start questioning why bad things happen to us. These are normal feelings but what makes things more difficult is having to go through these experiences without a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand telling us that everything is going to be ok.
The ugly truth is that people should not have to experience these kinds of feelings by themselves. Having someone next to us when we need them the most is one of the most important “gifts” someone in pain could ever receive.
It is very common for people to feel bad when they see others in pain, especially after a death of a love one. But the problem is that “feeling bad” would not help them overcome their pain or speed up the process of closure. It just adds more emotional pain and suffering to an already damaged soul.
If you have a person in your life who is currently experiencing a difficult moment and you want to help this person cope with the pain, I invite you to continue reading. Below, I will share with you six tips to help you create an action plan that in one way or another could help you at the moment of providing support and a helping hand to this person.
Tip # 1: Understand that the pain this person is feeling is completely normal: By acknowledging the pain and suffering that this person is going through and finding ways to help him to acknowledge his own pain is the first step in helping him move past the terrible experience.
Tip # 2: Do not try to be a “problem fixer” right away: When a person is suffering, he does not need you to try to fix his problems for him. What he needs is for you to listen to him and show a genuine desire to be there for him not matter what the problem or situation is. Just be there for him! He will let you know if he needs your help fixing the problem.
Tip # 3: Respect his privacy and alone time: We all need our quite time and when a person is suffering, it is very common that he will want to be left alone. That is ok as long as you touch bases with him from time to time to make sure he is doing ok.
Tip 4: Look for signs of depression: When a person is in pain, there is a great chance that he will develop some level of depression. Being sad is one thing and being depressed is another one. Be alert for those clues that may tell you that this person may be suffering from depression and look for help as soon as possible. An untreated depression could make things worse and may put the person in a terrible risk of attempting against his life if help is not provided on time.
Tip 5: Show them the light at the end of the tunnel: A person in pain may not see that even after the worst disasters, the sun always comes out; sometimes brighter than before. That been said, help this person to have hope again. Show him that no matter how bad things are right now, soon things will start to fall in place again and his life will become normal again.
Lending a helping hand to a person who is going through a terrible moment in life does not have to be a stressful experience. It only requires people to put themselves in the person’s shoes and to have a genuine desire to help. The truth is that we may not have all the answers while dealing with this kind of situations, but the important part here is to be there for the person and to show him that life goes on and that there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
One last thought; “dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.” ~ Norman B. Rice ~
About the Author:
Marielys Camacho-Reyes is a career/life coach with over 10 years of experience in the human resources field. If you would like to receive a one-time free coaching session, visit her website at www.mcrcoaching.com or email her at success@mcrcoaching.com
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